Lemon Pie

I wrote this blog to talk about how much I love Krystal's Lemon Pie. I remember the first time I had one. I was originally purchasing the Lemon Pies from Church's Chicken. Those were my pride and joy. Then I filled out a job application at the local Krystal in the Paxon area of town. I think I was studying the menu and noticed the item was for sale. I went into the freezer and got one for my lunch break. Look... I need for you all to understand the different feelings and emotions that were swirling around in my mouth. Fighting with teeth and saliva, it seemed too good to be true, so I took another bite.... OMG!!! I was still a virgin at the time, so biting into that pie felt like the best "rub out" job I had ever had, and it only seemed to be getting better with each bite. I believe somewhere there was a small tear that formed in the corner of my eyes. A tear of satisfaction and delight. I believed from that day forward the stars were aligned perfectly for me and The Lemon Pie. I became addicted. I had to have a Lemon Pie morning, noon and night. I became obsessed. I would get mad at customers for coming in and ordering MY DAMN LEMON PIE. The disrespect. Could they not see the undying love that pie and I shared. Even if it seemed as if I was getting the better end of the deal, the pie completed me. That became my one true reason for living, and there was no customer that would stand in the way of my happiness. I had to make my move quick for I didn't want people to get wind of the pie and I's affair. So one day I asked my manager for a raise. I was going to take my extra money and purchase the pies by the cases. I saw it as an opportunity for us to be together. I had the money and the pies... Well the pies had the sweets. They knew how to fulfill me better than any Caramel Sundae from McDonalds, or Chocolate Chip Cookies from BK or even a hot Apple Pie from Popeye's. Those had been my previous lovers. No... This pie was something special. Needless to say however my manager never gave me a raise and after months and months of watching MY LEMON PIE walk off with various customers... I quit. I couldn't bear to watch my love throw themselves on the first person with a dollar. It made me reevaluate our love and our friendship as a whole. I said some pretty hateful things the last time I saw the pie. But I guess the pie had the final last laugh. That pie caused my stomach to double in size over the course of 7 months. So not a good look for a 10th grader at that time. I was reunited with Lemon Pie today, and boy did it still have that effect on me. I'm no longer a virgin now, and I have condoms... Let's see where tonight will lead us........